


I don't know if you're ready for this honesty - honestly, it's embarrassing.

by sweetNsimple



Series: Joe, a True Romantic [1]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Booker is not banished, Discussion of the Crusades, Humor, Immortal Husbands Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, M/M, Minor Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Quynh is with the team, The whole immortal gang is together, Very Minor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25733107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetNsimple/pseuds/sweetNsimple
Summary: “Okay.” Nile nodded to herself. “I didn’t get it sooner, but I see it now.” She twisted in her chair to look at Andy and Quynh. “Joe’s a little shit,” she concluded, “and Nicky’s his enabler.”
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: Joe, a True Romantic [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1868983
Comments: 35
Kudos: 859





	I don't know if you're ready for this honesty - honestly, it's embarrassing.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very short piece, sorry. Also, I am not a history buff. Sorry again.

“I thought you guys met during the Crusades?” Nile asked, confused.

“We did, yes, during the First Crusade… and then we met again during the Second Crusade… and the Third…” Joe was openly amused by their stubborn desire to continue fighting each other to the death and a thousand more.

Nicky glanced down at his half-eaten food with a clenched jaw, one arm crossed over his torso so his hand held his opposite upper arm tightly. “I had convinced myself that God had chosen me as His champion against the pagan devils sent to keep the Holy Land from us,” he admitted with embarrassment, almost shame. “It took over a hundred years to realize how foolish I was, and it was still Joe who put his weapon down first. He said…” Nicky’s eyes fluttered shut, his mind travelling to a time centuries ago, a millennium away. “He said he was tired. He asked if I was. He wanted to return to his crafting, to creating, but the color red was abhorrent because of all the blood he had spilled – all the times he had spilled my blood. He bared his neck to me and said he could not fight me anymore.”

Joe watched Nicky reminisce with dark, tired eyes, as if he himself was transported to a moment forgotten in history where he had all but begged his enemy for rest from the battlefield. It had been 1203, only a year before the crusaders captured Constantinople and established their Latin Empire. Perhaps, if he had known of such an event to come, he would have kept fighting. Ah, but then it was forty years later when Islam took Jerusalem back. Not all that was lost was lost forever.

“And that was when you two got together?” Nile asked, squinting at them. “From enemies to lovers in a hundred years?”

“From enemies to travel companions,” Nicky amended. “We walked for a very long time, speaking very little. I definitely recall finding him handsome.” He flicked his eyes toward Joe, teeth catching his bottom lip for a split second. “I wasn’t ready to act on those fantasies yet.”

“ _Fantasies_ ,” Joe repeated with glee. “I wish you had acted on them sooner.” He grinned and slouched back in his chair. The sorrowful air dissipated as he became less tense, more teasing. “From enemies to acquaintances to friends. We travelled to Spain where I made a living as a carpenter for some years. Nicky and I roomed together and he helped me sell my wares. The first time I heard him laugh – sincerely,” he added, which asked the question of how often Nicky had laughed _in_ sincerely, “was sometime after Louis IX was taken prisoner. About the 1250’s.”

“It was 1302,” Nicky announced, staring straight into Joe’s eyes, “when I finally told Joe that I loved him and wanted to spend however long we had on this earth with him.”

Joe snorted, leering at his lover. “As I recall, a great deal happened before any declarations were made.”

Even after all this time, Nicky flushed at the memory. Nile’s eyebrows jumped up her forehead as Nicky looked distinctly uncomfortable in his seat. Andy and Quynh were snickering from the living room area while Booker watched on with interest and a beer in hand next to them.

“There’s a story here that I need to hear,” Nile decided.

“It – it’s not a _good_ story,” Nicky hesitated.

“It is a _fantastic_ story,” Joe cheered, eyes dancing with mirth. “A story imprinted on me for eternity.” There was something lewdly implied in those words that made Nicky suddenly look up with a hunger in his gaze.

“Listen, maybe I _don’t_ need to hear this story,” Nile argued, suddenly on Nicky’s side.

“You see, Nile,” Joe talked over her, putting his elbows on the table and leaning forward. “I was madly in love with this man, but I feared that his God would forever hold him back from returning my feelings. To alleviate my suffering, I took to having lovers that resembled him. One night, as my newest lover was sneaking away, Nicky happened upon us. I thought he would be furious – and I was right. I had to intervene to stop Nicky from killing the poor man. I thought he would turn his longsword on me next, but he used a very _different_ sword in me instead.”

“I think you mean _on_ …?” Nile sounded almost desperate.

“I know what I said and I said what I meant,” Joe informed her with growing delight at her suffering. “This man left his mark so deep inside of my heart and body that night that no other will ever satisfy me and I will never seek another to even try.”

“Probably for the best,” Nicky mumbled.

Nile had a realization. “Wait!” she snapped. “ _You’re_ the jealous one?!”

“I wouldn’t say that I am jealous,” Nicky said defensively.

“Not anymore, he’s not,” Joe cackled.

“I know I have nothing to be jealous of.”

“I have healed from having my head cut off faster than I was able to walk off what his arduous passion did to me.”

“Joe, _please_. Stop.”

“I had no complaints then and I am certainly not complaining now,” Joe explained with an exaggerated shrug. “The declaration of love that came the next afternoon was a nice finishing touch.”

Nile curled one hand into a fist and put it to her mouth, containing herself for just a moment. Finally, she exploded. “All I asked was how you guys still act like you’re on your honeymoon after 900 years.”

“Really, it’s only been 700,” Nicky corrected.

“Yes, a great difference,” Joe added. He reached across the table and took one of Nicky’s hands in his own, pressing Nicky’s knuckles to his lips. “After 900 years, I am sure we will be sick of each other.” Nicky looked ready to bite Joe at the comment. “I joke, I joke, habibi. Even at the end of eternity, I will not have had my fill of you.”

“Okay.” Nile nodded to herself. “I didn’t get it sooner, but I see it now.” She twisted in her chair to look at Andy and Quynh. “Joe’s a little shit,” she concluded, “and Nicky’s his enabler.”

“They take turns,” Booker corrected. “You’ve gotten it easy so far.” 


End file.
